Job Downsizing Gifts

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'Yes, of course I'm coping without the admin staff.'

'Due to current economic conditions, I'm forced to let some people go. Create an MP3 and send it to the following employees.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

Yardless: Please help

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Not to mention the park view."

Yard Sale

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'I've misplaced everything.'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."