Workforce Downsizer Gifts

'I wouldn't have mentioned lifting fifty times my own weight if I'd known they'd make forty-nine others redundant.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Yardless: Please help

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Yard Sale

"Not to mention the park view."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'I've misplaced everything.'

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."