Business Downsizing Gifts

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

"We've given up out Paris office. Madame thought she was spreading herself too thin."

'Our accountant says we're going broke. What should we do?' - 'Hire an economist. They also get it wrong.'

STRIP Hambone: Successful business moving to smaller premises

'We scaled way, way back. In fact, this might be a good opportunity to get in on the ground level - again.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

Yardless: Please help

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"Not to mention the park view."

Yard Sale

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'I've misplaced everything.'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."