Corporate Downsizing Gifts

"I still say we're stretched dangerously thing."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"It's a part of the new austerity program – e now run things by paralegal."

'This doesn't look good.'

'We're still trying to adjust to not having the company limo.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"Team, it's a business decision...one of you has to go. And that person is.... I don't know about you, but the suspense is killing me!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

Yardless: Please help

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

Yard Sale

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'