Jim Morrison Fan Gifts

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

'What do we think? We think it's foolish to skip obedience school and go straight to the NBS...'

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

Propriety

"This is a good time to be a fish."

Plane crash on football pitch.

"Well that's one way of getting your ball on the green. . ."

'Ludwig's still injured. He's traveling with the team, but I didn;t let him suit up.'

"I think Maurice has gone feral."

Football League - Concussions R Us.

Rock group on tube train, "Stand clear of the doors please."

'Make of it what you will, but your daughter doesn't realize that Homer Simpson is supposed to be funny.'

The Grim Reaper and Nuclear Weapons.

"Have you ever considered that you haven't been promoted because you're and idiot?"

"And after the break, I'd like to show everyone a clip from my latest film."

Today on Oprah: Couples who are Not Having Extra-Marital Affairs

"Hey—nice place!"

Bird tells upside-down bird, you need to work on your grip.

Did I leave the plunger in the toilet again?

"I'm maybe not the real Santa, but I'm the only Santa who would do it for the money your dad was willing to pay for the job!"

"Yeah? Well, I thought you brought a ball."

'I have no excuse for the horrible way my team performed today. However, my assistant coaches are reviewing the tape, and we should have an excuse worked up by Monday morning.'