Perry Mason Fan Gifts

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Michael Jackson.

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Last Chance for Everything.

Build a home where the buffalo roam? Bah!

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

'Good dog!'

"Well, that's the scaffolding up...We'll be back next week to start building..."

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.

'I could use it to build a house.' - 'Build house.' - 'I could stand on it to see over a wall.' - 'See over wall.' - 'How about a masonry enema if I don't get the job, eh?' - 'Help!'

"All you ever want to do is go to the Hop."

Mime supplies.

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

Bricklayer

Villain pokes round the corner in a theatre production.

Elvis

'I want to talk to all the king's lawyers about suing all the king's stone masons who built this wall.'

Where is global warming when you want it?

'It's an old work injury.'