Jewelry Making Pillows

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'It's a hatred bracelet. I made it for you.'

Fred had been spending too much time at the gem: "You need to get more exercise."

Birth of a rhinestone cowboy.

'Thanks for coming in . ..now I can finish that ankle bracelet I'm working on.'

"My husband made me earrings out of his old computer mice. Who said geeks aren't romantic?"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Diamond outfits

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

A Zircon Is Forever

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Will you be mine?

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Posh Easter Egg

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'