Jewelry Pillows

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

Jewelled 'Eradicate Poverty' bracelet

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Jackpot.'

'Of course it's a real diamond. You think I'd spend eighty bucks for a fake?'

'I hear that diamonds are really, really hard. Do you have anything easier?'

"I'm having my wedding ring melted down into a bullet."

'Louise, everyone is wearing that this year ... don't be such a sheep to fashion.'

"Nice ring. You sure it ain't hot?"

'Let's not rush into this investment thing too quickly, Maude. Remember, I've still got 6 payments left on your engagement ring.'

'Full refund if she comes to her senses within 24 hours.'

"14KT white gold, 40.00 carat round diamond, 3-strands and also kills fleas and ticks."

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"You call that 'bling'?"

'Do you have something that says 'possessive but afraid of committment'?'

'I see you got engaged And look at the size of that rock'

'Diane removes her love beads before resuming takeover negotiations'

'Actually - they're my husband's gall stones!'

'Great, another pearl for our anniversary. How about a diamond for once.'

'Do you have something for my sinuses? I don't want my ring to rust.'

Cultured Pearls

"I find that, the older you get, the bigger your jewelry has to get."

"Fantastic crucifix."

"Dad says you can tell the age of trees by their rings. Does that work for Grandmas?"

Bling Crosby.

A Zircon Is Forever

Woman wearing testicles as earrings after husbands vasectomy.

'I wanted a carrot, not a karat!'

'Forget the appraised value. What would a pawnshop give me for it?'

Eye-catching Diamond rings.

'Charlie will be late this morning... he lost the back of his earring.'

"Yes, that is a pretty penny...but when I said that what the necklace would cost, I meant..."