Jewelry Gifts

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

Jewelled 'Eradicate Poverty' bracelet

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Jackpot.'

'Of course it's a real diamond. You think I'd spend eighty bucks for a fake?'

Denise sports her new hummingbird feeder earrings.

'I hear that diamonds are really, really hard. Do you have anything easier?'

"I'm having my wedding ring melted down into a bullet."

'Louise, everyone is wearing that this year ... don't be such a sheep to fashion.'

'Off balance? Can't stand out in your field? Victim of cow tipping? Just buy our miracle iRemoo bracelet and balance your whole life!!'

"Nice ring. You sure it ain't hot?"

'Let's not rush into this investment thing too quickly, Maude. Remember, I've still got 6 payments left on your engagement ring.'

'Full refund if she comes to her senses within 24 hours.'

"14KT white gold, 40.00 carat round diamond, 3-strands and also kills fleas and ticks."

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

'Diane removes her love beads before resuming takeover negotiations'

'Do you have something that says 'possessive but afraid of committment'?'

"You call that 'bling'?"

'I see you got engaged And look at the size of that rock'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"You look like a million bucks to me."

Cultured Pearls

'Do you have something for my sinuses? I don't want my ring to rust.'

'Actually - they're my husband's gall stones!'

'Great, another pearl for our anniversary. How about a diamond for once.'

"Yes, that is a pretty penny...but when I said that what the necklace would cost, I meant..."

"Fantastic crucifix."

Bling Crosby.

'I wanted a carrot, not a karat!'

'It was my late grandmother's. She would've wanted you to have it.'

Engagement Ring.

'This one has a tiny amount of unleaded petrol in it.'

'That's way too expensive. If I had that kind of money, I could afford to move out of town and buy a new identity.'