Jewelry Maker Gifts

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Diamond outfits

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

A Zircon Is Forever

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"It was her mothers"

Cow and Milk

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Will you be mine?

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Posh Easter Egg