Jewelry Maker Pillows

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Diamond outfits

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

A Zircon Is Forever

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Cow and Milk

"It was her mothers"

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

Will you be mine?