Jewelry Designer Gifts

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

Bling.

"They're Karl Lagerfeld's cat's furballs."

"Mainly we supply material for nuclear reactors, electronics and costume jewelry."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Diamond outfits

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

A Zircon Is Forever

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"It was her mothers"

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Posh Easter Egg

Will you be mine?

Cow and Milk

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'