Jewelry Shop Owner Gifts

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Sale.

'I'll take it!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"If there's any one lesson we've learned from the eighties, it's how to shop!"

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Honesty in retail

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Online Shopping.

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Will you be mine?

Cow and Milk

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."