Jewelry Repair Pillows

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Diamond outfits

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

A Zircon Is Forever

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Will you be mine?

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Posh Easter Egg

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"It was her mothers"

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.