Jet-setter Giggler Gifts

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

Cow Blue Arrows

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"Have you decided where to travel?"

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

Easter Island.

Galley Christmas

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

Excess Baggage: The concept of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

'When you said this was a three star hotel, I didn't expect to see them through a hole in the roof!'

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

"There! Just like new!"

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

Fiscal Responsibility

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

Left Luggage/Right Luggage

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

"Whatever you hit Captain it wasn't a bird. The only thing I can see in here is lot s of wrapping paper, broken toys and shattered antlers."

"Why yes, it is my last flight. How'd you guess?"

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

"Wanda, you're a month early for your appointment...again."