Jester Of Jokes Pillows

King Pin

Comedy course highlights fake nose

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Men dancing

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Elf of the Month

"Maybe this year..."

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"You idiots … we lost!"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

C is for Cracker

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'