Jest Master Gifts

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Any questions?'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Make sport of the Queen.'