Jealousy Humorist Gifts

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

'Man...You age great!'

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"It's not what you think."

Fishing Contest

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'Why do you always get to be the tanks?'

Steak Lovers.

"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

'Simon! No! We really were just fooling around!'

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

"How the mighty have fallen!"

Upstaging the Dog

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

'Don't mind him. He's just an 'X' who's jealous of 'U'.'

'it's the local bank manager.'

"Oh he's just lucky, and a robot."

'Look at them both arguing about the race: Adults are so competitive...'

"If I knew next week's winning lottery numbers do you think I'd be sitting here telling you."

"Happy hour makes it all worthwhile!"

'What if he gets so thin that other women notice him?'

Dog thinking: 'This lap isn't big enough for the two of us.'

Jealous centaur.

'Okay, so I'll ask someone else to marry me!'