Jealousy Jests Gifts

Dog thinking: 'This lap isn't big enough for the two of us.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"It's not what you think."

Fishing Contest

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

"So...are you still saving up to buy a 1964 Chevy Impala now that Joey has one?"

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

'Simon! No! We really were just fooling around!'

'Get your hands off my husband.'

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

"How the mighty have fallen!"

Upstaging the Dog

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

'Don't mind him. He's just an 'X' who's jealous of 'U'.'

'If'n you don't stop talkin' to my honey, I'm gonna come down and kick the stuffin' outta you.'

"Oh he's just lucky, and a robot."

'And if I so much as look at another man, he goes ballistic!'

'What if he gets so thin that other women notice him?'

Jealous centaur.

'I'm Sally, your waitress for tonight, and this is Hugo, my insanely jealous boyfriend.'

'How about hitting my wife's new boyfriend?'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"That top isn't very forgiving."

'Okay, so I'll ask someone else to marry me!'