Jealousy Humor Aficionados Gifts

Jealous centaur.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

Stairlift around cliff face.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Unemotional Support Animal

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Stormy weather

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Cheating Death.

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"He looks just like your husband."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Very Presidential."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com