Jealousy Humor Aficionados Gifts

Jealous centaur.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Unemotional Support Animal

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Stormy weather

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

Cheating Death.

"He looks just like your husband."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Very Presidential."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

Watchdog on Holiday

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."