Jealousy Enthusiast Gifts

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Tic-tac-toe

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Just being proactive."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Fight on the top

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"It's not what you think."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"How sweet of you to say -- and how dare you!"

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

'Get your hands off my husband.'

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."