Jazz Buff Gifts

Like, Real Gone...

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Backfire

Cat Nip.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Bloody hell!"

'He does lack social skills.'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Golfing Accident

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Can't Touch This

"And would you like flies with that?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Wedding disaster #27.

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'