Jaws Enthusiast Gifts

Bill's life coaching, helping you put the "Great" in Great White Shark.

Snow Shark

Sardines swim in the form of a huge shark.

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

Cat Lover's Leap.

Headshot of perky dog.

"We need to put in more bones."

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"No, I did not sniff you!"

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

"Try to fit in, Dear."

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.