Jaws Enthusiast T-Shirts

Bill's life coaching, helping you put the "Great" in Great White Shark.

Snow Shark

Sardines swim in the form of a huge shark.

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

Cat Lover's Leap.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

Headshot of perky dog.

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"We need to put in more bones."

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

"Try to fit in, Dear."

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

"But is it..?"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'