Jar Master Gifts

"Of course I don't love you just because you can open jars. You can also kill spiders."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Fighting Covid

"He loves his leaf blower."

A Bloody Butcher

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

I love Basketball.

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'This decaf's lousy.'

Flowcharts.

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

A European Nightjar in the form of a Jar

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

'I must say, I do like your resume.'

Sales and Learning Experiences

'You're nice, but I'll need to run your proposal by my attorney, accountant, web master,job coach and HMO.'

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships....

Checking watch

'Our Web design company had a financial reversal last month. We made money.'

"I'm guessing with all that mold coming out of your computer, it's been awhile since you've added fresh content to your site."

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'

Computer shows code violation to wierd user.

The shining light of open-source software.

'Don't worry. I can still reach back for that 98 mile-per-hour fast ball.'

He's just the pizza guy, but he's very well prepared!

Supermarket customer types.

'The thing I liked best about being an amateur is that the other guy was an amateur too!'

"Bad news, there's a new app that helps people spell their own names wrong."

Paul Lawrie

Sooner or Later