Jar Jouster Gifts

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Clown Wedding with Rake

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Justice

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"