Jammie Joker Pillows

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Batman's Baby

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Santa's Helpers

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Complaints Desk

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"See how it feels"

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Adult Absence Notes.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"