Jammie Joker Prints

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Santa's Helpers

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"See how it feels"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Adult Absence Notes.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."