Jailbird Humorist Gifts

'I got 2 years for filing false returns, but I did save a bundle by doing my own taxes.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"I consider myself fortunate. All the guys I grew up with are either dead or attorneys."

Okay, but next year I get to sit by the window!

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

'We get three square-meals a day in here!'

'I didn't know that breaking campaign promises was illegal.'

'I was sure I'd gotten away with it. Optimism can add years to your life sentence.'

Con Artist.

'If you commit a crime when you're slow as molasses & leave a trail of slime you're going to do some time.'

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

'I stole someone else's identity. How was I to know he was on the ten most-wanted list?'

"You've got a lot of nerve, Lefty. . . using your one phone call to call a locksmith!"

"I tried to steal a catalytic converter off an electric car."

"Full board, you're joking! Think yourself lucky that breakfast is included."

"White Collar Prison"

Prisoner Crossing

Exhibition for Prisoners

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

At least you have security!

'It's for you.'

Love in prison.