Jailbird Humor Gifts

Prisoner runs out of wall space to count the days.

"They're suppositories. Well what other type of drugs do you expect me to smuggle in."

"White Collar Prison"

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'It's for you.'

Love in prison.

At least you have security!

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'