Jailbird Jokes Gifts

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"White Collar Prison"

Prisoner Crossing

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

Love in prison.

At least you have security!

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'It's for you.'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'