Ivf Enthusiast Gifts

'...no no, it was good for me...it just didn't have quite the pazzazz of IVF.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

Science and mothers day

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

Snowman Baby, "We used a frozen Sperm Sample

"Don't knock over the frozen embryos."

IVF Clinic: Free 'Baby on Board' T-Shirt To All Successful Patients

Fertility Clinic -"I'll be Mother"

Test-tube baby

Cerne Abbas

Cerne Abbas

surrogates Mothers Association (wombs to let)

'Congratulations! It's a saviour sibling.'

'Yours is a very rare case.'

'Be advised that I am not going to consider those who don't bring their resume!'

'In vitro fertilization and sperm banks. I remember the old days when you couldn't outsource having kids.'

"We've been swimming around for hours with no sign of an egg."

Mother's Day In The Future

'I want the contents of that bottle checked!'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about, all my babies have been designer.'

IVF Clinic bed - 'And here we have the basis of our revolutionary new technique.'