Ivf Gifts

Snowman Baby, "We used a frozen Sperm Sample

IVF treatment

IVF Clinic: Free 'Baby on Board' T-Shirt To All Successful Patients

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

'...no no, it was good for me...it just didn't have quite the pazzazz of IVF.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Elfie Stick

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

IVF assessment centre.

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'What part of 'don't bother coming home if you are rat-arsed' didn't you understand?'

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

Full Serve/Elf Serve

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'

"Remind me to never take the shortcut through the Christmas Sweater workshop."

Science and mothers day

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Trial by Viagra

"I hate recalls."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"My parents had a saying: Never go to sleep mad at your computer."