Ivf Technician Gifts

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

Fixing the TV.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Early Tech Support

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'