Itchy Escapades Gifts

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

Bypass the Falls

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

"No, son, there's no severance package."

Six arms, no waiting.

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

'Not now, Lord!'

Fourplay.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'Yes, I did give you permission to play with a boat in the bath tub. However, I was thinking of a toy boat.'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

"You should have told me you needed advice."

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

Site Safety: Minutes Since Last Accident.

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

She undressed you with her eyes, but then very quickly dressed you again.

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'