Itchy Escapades Gifts

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"No, son, there's no severance package."

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

Bypass the Falls

Six arms, no waiting.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Yes, I did give you permission to play with a boat in the bath tub. However, I was thinking of a toy boat.'

Fourplay.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

'Not now, Lord!'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

She undressed you with her eyes, but then very quickly dressed you again.

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'