Breakup Escapades Gifts

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

Six arms, no waiting.

"No, son, there's no severance package."

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

'I love our hideaway. I only wish I could find it.'

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

Fourplay.

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'Not now, Lord!'

Newly married couple on a magic carpet.

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"