Italian Food Gifts

'I WARNED you we had the largest slice in town!'

"Did you put garlic in the pasta?"

Under pressure.

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'Over linguini, please.'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"Garlic breath?"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Okay, you're starting with the linguini primavera, followed by the heart-attack Alfredo."

"For me, the vegetarian."

'My Mum's the best cook. She makes a lasagne with spinach and broccoli and it tastes great!'

I love Cannelloni

ESP Pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

'Why can't you order ravioli or pizza?'

"Pizza for one - and your extra large is on the way."

They're all guys who got whacked in here.

"Start Sucking!"

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Customer being served a pizza with a 'no smoking' topping.

Spaghetti Hypnotice

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."

My spaghetti? Well, you asked for al dente...

'Anything wrong with the spaghetti?.'

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

Fusilli Slide.

"He'd have preferred it dis way...in the meatsauce!"

'Jake's always said that wine is an appetite suppressant - I don't see him eating anything.'

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'Go ask Caesar what he wants in his salad.'

Man eating his hair when trying to eat spaghetti

Stretching Spaghetti

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

"But Nonno made them specially for you, princess."

Testoseroni