Italian Cooking Gifts

Pizza school: 'Hey! I'm starting to get the hang of this. How are you doing?'

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Tartine

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Under pressure.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Pasta

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

I love Cannelloni

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'It's my favorite.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'Your pizza will be out in a few minutes. Tony's looking for a ladder to get it off the ceiling.'

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

Picasso

Spaghetti Road

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'I WARNED you we had the largest slice in town!'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

'The town where they make Parmesan cheese is very well to do. In fact, I hear it's a grated community.'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'