Italian Cuisine Gifts

Antipasti protest.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Pizza By The Slice

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

Pasta of the Eighties

'Sorry about that, sir.'

Snot twirler.

'Why can't you order Ravioli or pizza?'

"Hey, Mama!! Step it up!!!"

'This is an eco-friendly Italian shoe. If you don't like it anymore, you can eat it with pasta sauce.'

"Oh, wow! A lucky penne."

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'Sometimes I just feel like some pasta.'

'Garlic or non-garlic?'

All you can eat. . . pizza.

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

The Blessing of the Pasta at Trattoria Del Vaticano

"I've got everything you've got and more - I just don't feel the need to tell the whole effin world about it"

"Who gets the linguini with my thumb in it?"

"Throw in some marinara sauce and you've got a deal."

"This gnocchi with sage butter looks nothing like my friend's Instagram photo."

Pizza Express

"So, our holiday was cancelled but at least our tastebuds can still go to Italy."

"Why exactly you were expecting gnocchi to be exciting, I couldn't tell you."

Bill Barr's Last Day

"No, that one's my pasta machine."

"Al dente!"

"Pizza lover's pizza"

"If the cops stop us, we're going to look pretty silly carrying a giant cannoli around the city this time of night."

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Farfalle the showoff."

'Quick, Bernie - in here!'

'The waiter wasn't lying when he said the chef puts his heart into his lasagna - I think I got the aorta.'

"I've made my new spaghetti dish."

'What do I do now'

"Let's hope on this visit there are no runs, no hits, no errors."