It Crisis Manager Gifts

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'I see everyone got the memo.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Crisis'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"I'm concerned, Larry. All you seem to do lately is put out fires and run around like a..."

Save the world together

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

Emergency Firebreaker

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

Tsipras and Merkel

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

More Money for Greece.

"My God, now what?"

USA Putting Out Fires

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."