Island Hermit With A Love For Soccer Gifts

Hmm...all the best!

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Ball and Chain

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

"Will you be staying in the area?"

Big match day.

Football fan

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

His Master Voice Desert Island

'Don't cry, Tel. England might be out of the European cup, but at least we've still got Poland.'

How future cases will be decided if there is a 4-4 tie.

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

"...now it's time for a round up of our national sports - soccer, cricket, and knocking the BBC...."

Football Tattoo.

Castaway Drummer

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

'Do you love me more than City?'

Future Desert Islands.

"He's living his life in a vacuum."

'I said I would agree to work remotely, but this is a bit too much.'

'We never go anywhere anymore.'

'There are 2 billion, 16 million, 10 thousand and sixty - one grains of sand on this island!'

"I haven't seen you in ages - have you not been hiding under a rock?"