Soccer Star With A Twist Gifts

Goalkeeper on a desert island.

Football Fans

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Football

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Ball as water-melon.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'I think I've scored.'

The Goalkeeper

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Children playing football.

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Wilfried Zaha

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Are you aware...Professional soccer players who fake fouls with pretend injuries are eligible for a soccer oscar!

Cristiano Ronaldo

Soccer coach of the year.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Football player taking the ball home.

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

Gareth Bale

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'