Irreverent Cartoon Lovers Pillows

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Recalculating route..."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Standard & Poor

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Neversource"

'Guess who's teething?'

'Your future looks charming.'

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."