Irreverent Cartoon Lovers Pillows

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"Recalculating route..."

"She's a miniature."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

Standard & Poor

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Neversource"

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'Guess who's teething?'