Ironic Cartoon Fans Pillows

"Get a good look at them but don't get too close. They are small but dangerous."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Braiding a Horse's Tail

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

Santa's Helpers

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"Word has it Earthlings have been using some of our people for cruel scientific experiments."

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'