Ironic Cartoon Lover Pillows

'Do you expect to be stuffed on Thanksgiving?'

No money is left in this business (overnight).

The Solitary 'Pleasure' Fisherman whose one desire is to get away from it all.

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"Whose the new guy?"

A Snowman checking out some products for blacken his teeth

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"I think he just ashed on me."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

"Look - we'll whistle when it's fifteen dollars an hour."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

'You'll have to install a ramp, sir -- you're discriminating against disabled birds.'

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

"Larry! Swine flu!"

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Mr. Putin, annexation of Crimea was nice, but wouldn't Ukraine, Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia also be nice addictions to your Empire?'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'There's a conglomerate of malcontents here to see you, sir.'

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"