Witty Cartoon Lover Pillows

'Still up to your old tricks, eh, Lefty? You're in here for counterfeiting and now you're faxing $20 bills to a cohort on the outside.'

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"You don't see much in the way of rioting and looting when an unarmed white man is killed by the police."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

'Do you expect to be stuffed on Thanksgiving?'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'There's a conglomerate of malcontents here to see you, sir.'

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Mr. Putin, annexation of Crimea was nice, but wouldn't Ukraine, Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia also be nice addictions to your Empire?'

How Moms explain.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

There IS a Santa Claus.

Minister's File

Other People

Cat Dreams.

"So much for eternal rest."

"I like the way you handle responsibility, Fenton, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you."

"You've sacrificed a lot for the company."

Iran-Gaza

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."