Satirical Cartoon Lovers Pillows

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

NHS very direct - 'You have a terminal illness and you are going to die. Thanks for your call...'

CEO Bonus - 'Those in favor of my exhorbitant bonus say 'aye'. Those opposed say, 'Good heavens, I've been shot!'

Some new Greek gods - God of Debt, Austerity, Unemployment.

'Well, my company can offer the best prices because we've got the lowest personnel expenses!'

Consistent education is important!

Occupy God's Vacuum

"If sea levels don't rise and if I spent a fortune on size 104 rubber boots for nothing, I won't forget you eco clowns!"

"Don't worry... they'll come back for us when they realize the error of their ways..."

2020 happy new year

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

"That's our M.P., you can guess where he stands on Brexit."

"You look a little like Bernie Sanders, and sponsor a big giveaway program - you must be a liberal, right?"

"Remember when I was your unpaid intern, and you said to stay in touch, well....

EuroPygmees

"Boy - this economy is hitting us hard - guess we'll have to ask the government for more money."

Army School Recruitment - 'I got shot.'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

'Stand on your own two feet, and get a bailout, like everyone else!'

'On your marks. . . get set!'

'I'm beginning to think that this merger wasn't such a hot idea.'

Train Ticket Robbery

"Hello, is this 999?"

"Looks like I got in right under the wire."

FEMA in Waziristan

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'