Ironically_uncomfortable_foodie Gifts

Stand Up Buffet - Haemorrhoid Association.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Free Range Chickens

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"May your year be pear-fect."

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

Welcome at the Healthful Restaurant. We allow neither cholesterol, GM food, colourings, dust nor guests.

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

'I spent the afternoon over a $500 lunch explaining how bad business is.'

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

"Mmm, a stinky cheese sandwich!"

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

Rice Cakes Gone Wild

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

Strict Diet,

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

"Are all of your carcinogens produced locally?"

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'