Foodie Irony Gifts

'I spent the afternoon over a $500 lunch explaining how bad business is.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Beef Stew.

Free Range Chickens

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Shrimp cook

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"How was the food sir?"

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

"I think we need one that shows the oldest food in the country."

Obese kid in nursery.

Watching health food cooking shows makes me hungry. Let's go grab some fast food.

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."