Culinary Irony Gifts

'Man, they sure know how to be cruel! 24 hours a day of the Gournet Food Channel!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"Carpe pizza"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'The customer is always right...'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

'YAY! PATE!'

Bookworm group

Free Range Chickens

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Shrimp cook

'People soup again?'

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances