Culinary Irony Gifts

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Carpe pizza"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'The customer is always right...'

'YAY! PATE!'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Bookworm group

Free Range Chickens

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Shrimp cook

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

'People soup again?'

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances